Aunty Pharmacist, I need help. Ever since I gave birth to my first child, it has become a burden for me to perform and my husband is not finding it funny. We have had several quarrels and it’s becoming a really serious matter. He said I should discuss it with you. Is there any medicine to make me hot for sex again?
In my fifteen years of practicing pharmacy in communities, I have encountered quite a number of cases like this. (One of the skills I need to develop in this my job is Marriage Counselling). It appears to be a major cause of broken homes. I came across this letter I social media and was moved to discuss this delicate subject today:
My Dear wife,
I want to let you know how I feel about our sex life, and how it affects me negatively.
Most of the time you complain about me becoming angry too easily, what you don’t
know is that my anger most of the time is not about what made me angry, but about the way
you handle our sex life. You always thinks you are doing me a favor by allowing me to sleep
with you. The way you normally reject me, affects me, my ego, my manhood, my leadership and this is, because you reject me in an
Before I got married to you, I had the dream of having an unfettered access to sex after
wedding thats why I kept myself for you till our wedding night. I enjoyed the best of you during
our honey moon and few months after, things fell apart and center could not hold.
During the last 3 years, I have attempted to make love to you 600 times and I succeeded
only 62 tines, this is an average of once in 10 attempts.
These are the complaints you make that have been a road block on my way to romantic living:
We will wake our neighbors (64times)
The children will hear (35times)
The bed is making noise(29times)
Placing the baby on your chest(25times)
It is too hot(30times)
I don’t want to be pregnant(22times)
Pretend to be asleep (43times)
Your mother will hear us(11times)
New hair done(37times)
It is too late in the night(32times)
I am so tired (85times)
Wrong time of the month
Not in the mood(39times)
Many which I don’t even want to say but the 62 times I did succeed, the results were not
always satisfying because of your behavior.
You will first start by ordering me around, “switch off the light”, close the window, the door is not properly locked close it, put the fan on number 5, go take your bath, many more which tears won’t allow me to say.
Even when you agree I don’t normally enjoy myself because of the way you reach.
You just lay as if you are not in the bed with me (12times)
I had to wake you up to tell you am finished.
Tears won’t let me say all
For our marriage to be better, I think you need to improve and make me happy.
Yours in love,
Your hungry and neglected husband.
Does this sound like your husband? Are these
complaints not in tour home too? Though this sex starved man might have exaggerated some
things in the letter, most especially the number of demand and details of denial, the truth is he has made his point which his wife must consider
Dear Mom, I know it’s tough. I have been there. Indeed the drive for sex goes down after the first child. So many factors are responsible for this. What do we do?
The first thing I believe we need to do is to adopt a positive attitude towards sex. Our mindset needs to be reset. Make up your mind to enjoy the act. See it as a privilege to service your husband.
For more tips on how to get back our sex drive, tap the link to download my FREE e-book